Only in a Towel
by myoue
Summary: A lot of strange things happen in an Uchiha Mansion... especially when one walks around in a birthday suit. Hope Sasuke's hormones are in place. SasuSaku Crackish Oneshot


**I'm soo sooorry! It's been forever since I've gotten anything up! I've been SO busy! But I finally got the time to edit and fix up this oneshot, so I hope you like it!**

**Enjoy!**

**P.S And another one of my _great_ titles, ne?

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**Only in a Towel**

"Thanks so much for letting me stay for the night, Sasuke-kun," I said, gripping my umbrella tighter as I followed Sasuke, going up the stone steps that were leading to his house.

"Anytime," he replied dully, taking his keys out.

It was raining cats and dogs outside, and my house was "much too far to walk in this kind of weather" apparently, for Kakashi-sensei. Though Naruto's house was farther and Kakashi-sensei didn't say anything about that. I guess all those Icha Icha books screwed with his mind somehow. But I sort of felt bad for Naruto because he had to walk home in the rain, and he didn't have an umbrella or anything. Maybe the hyper-active bubble of energy around him will keep him somewhat dry.

Finally, I was out of the cold and into the warmth of Sasuke's hou- No wait. Not even. Into his freakin' _mansion _is more like it. It was huge! Just his _hallway_ looked like it was four times the size of my whole apartment!

"Damn, Sasuke! Where in the world did you get enough money to buy a mansion like _this_?!" I asked, flabbergasted. Obviously, I didn't take in the fact that he probably inherited the _mansion_ from his parents. But I mean seriously! Why was he living in a mansion when I was stuck in a crappy little apartment?

"The lottery," he says. Wow, I was way off…

I raised an eyebrow. "Really…?"

"No."

…

Alright, it's been around ten seconds at Sasuke'sand I already feel like my head's exploded.

I was going to ask to get something to eat, but Sasuke said something first.

"First, we've got to get you out of those wet clothes," he said, shrugging out of his own wet jacket.

I turned red and hit him. He winced at the sudden action and stared at me weirdly.

"I can't believe you!" I screamed at him and he jumped back a little. "I just got here and you're _already _being a _hentai_?!"

"What?!"

"I _know_ you want to restore the Uchiha clan, Sasuke, but this is all going WAY too fast! Go find some other mindless sex slave-!"

"Sakura! I didn't mean it like _that_!"

…

"Oh."

Well this is awkward.

Alright, that _never_ happened!

I smiled brightly. A little too brightly. "I'm gonna go take a shower now! If you don't mind Sasuke…" I left him to stand there with a what-the-hell-just-happened expression on his face, as I went upstairs, but then stopped.

"Um… Sasuke…?" I trailed off.

"Second door on the left," he said automatically.

"Right, thanks."

It wasn't really that easy though. Because first of all, there wasn't really a left! There was like, a _straight_! …And then a left. But then there were all these doors and one was even slightly open! I had half a mind to peek in to see if it was Sasuke's room, but my half-a-minds usually end up getting me in some kind of trouble.

I turned around to try and find the bathroom…

_Just one peek._

I stopped.

Hmm… I could be really fast… But no, that would be an invasion on Sasuke's privacy. I couldn't do that!

_It only takes half a second._

Grr… I hated when this happened! The mad voices in my head start telling me that it's right to do bad stuff! MAD voices! MAD, MAD-!

_Use the force._

…

Luke, that is SO not cool!

…_Sorry._

Alright, back to looking for the bathroom. Wait! Sasuke said the _second _door on the left! I guess that means the door after the first…

_You think??_

Shut it!

After opening the second door, I figured out that it _was_ the bathroom! Man, am I a genius or what?

And I guess I did watch a lot of Star Wars in the last few days…

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Okay, I got through taking a shower without any complications, except for one part where Sasuke barged in in the middle of my shower… 

**--**

"_Sa… ra."_

_Was that… Sasuke? I couldn't really hear him because of the bathroom fan._

"_Uh… yeah?" I replied._

"_Caa… I… te…loo… tes?_

…

_What was I supposed to say to that? Caa I te loo tes?_

_Say yes! It's probably the right answer! _(A/N That was 'Luke' in case you didn't know because the italics are all messed up because of the flashback)

_Alright…_

"_Yes…?" I said sort of hesitantly. Maybe trusting some weird inner voice that gets me in trouble isn't such a good idea though…_

"…_K."_

--

I then realized something after I had that weird flashback…

Oh shit.

My clothes weren't here.

And in olde English.

Here weren't my clothes.

Oi, something terribly awful has occured, here weren't my clothes!

-cough-

I was planning to just wear the same clothes I wore that day. (Because, no offence to Sasuke, his blue top and white shorts are _U-G-L-Y. _I DO NOT want to wear them.)

There was a towel, but I couldn't go walking around Sasuke's mansion in just a towel! Sasuke's hormones would like… rape me or something…

So, I sat in the bathroom, with the ugly green towel on, staring at the… bathroom-ish walls. They were actually kind of pretty. And the toilet looked like it was cleaned twice a day… so shiny…

After five and a half minutes of staring stupidly at nothingness, I got really bored. I had memorized the flower pattern of the walls to a point where I could draw it free-hand and get it perfect. There was only one thing to do… No, not crawl through the bathroom window!

To go out there… in only a towel.

An _ugly_ _green_ towel. No really. It is.

I opened the door hesitantly and looked around; I don't think Sasuke was there unless he was using his ninja invisible powers. So I stepped out, hoping he wasn't waiting around the corner like Naruto probably would be and about to yell, "BOO! Hahaha, I got you SO bad, Sakura-chan!"

I was greeted with the hallway of millions of doors again. So I used my super logical skills to figure out which way to go…

"If I went left to get here…" I said to myself, "to get out, I have to go… left again!"

_No, you idiot!_

"Oh yeah, I mean right! Thanks, Luke!"

"Who's Luke?"

I froze. _Oh shit! It's that emo-head, chicken-haired, ugly-faced bastard!_

You mean Sasuke…?

_Yeah!_

I slowly turned around. No, _very_ slowly actually. Like I was in super _ssllooww-mmooddee… _Hahaha, it was actually kind of fu-

"Are you going to turn around or not?"

"…Yeah, I am," I said, speeding up.

We kind of stood there in complete silence for around thirty seconds. Sasuke actually stared at me in his ugly green towel; his eyes were like, going up and down and… OH MY, GOD!

"UCHIHA SASUKE! ARE YOU CHECKING ME OUT?!" I screamed, trying to cover myself with my arms as much as I could without looking stupid, though by the expression on Sasuke'_s_ face I could tell I improving much.

"WHAT?! NO!" he shouted right back, blushing and looking away as if to prove that he wasn't looking at me.

"YES YOU ARE! I COULD SEE YOUR EYES! THEY WERE LIKE GOING UP AND DO-"

"I WAS STARING AT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE ONLY IN A TOWEL!"

…

"Oh."

This stuff happens a lot to me, doesn't it?

"So." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Why _are_ you in only a towel?"

"An _ugly green _towel," I corrected.

His face sort of fell. I guess he likes this towel.

"I like that towel…" Man, psychic. Right here.

Now would be a good time to apologize and comfort him…

"SERIOUSLY?! IT'S SO UGLY… AND GREEN!"

…But it would be an even better time to make fun of him! Ahahaha! So evil…

Wait… I just thought of something.

"So… you aren't going to rape me now?"

I think Sasuke sort of choked on his own spit or something, possibly an air molecule, because he started to cough really violently all of a sudden. Those things can happen. Really.

I just stood there like the idiot I was, staring at him with a dumb look. Hey, don't look at me; I don't know how to do CPR…

"What?!" he yelled for the fifty bajillionth time, after he finished coughing, which was like a full minute.

…Obviously he must be tired of me making so many assumptions of him coming on to me. That was seriously the third time this evening. No, I wasn't _actually_ counting!

"I am _not_ going to rape you, Sakura!" He sounded like he had to force it out, but I took his word for it.

"Oh, phew, that took a _load _off my stress level." I wiped invisible sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand.

"Why? Are you really stressed now or something-?"

"YES!" I screamed, cutting him off, and he literally jumped back a whole meter. "I am SO stressed! When I got out of the shower, I couldn't find my clothes so I was stuck in this freakin' towel-"

"Sakura, _I _took your clothes when I went into the bathroom. I asked if it was okay to take them to wash and you said yes."

Ah, damn.

"So, Sasuke, can I have my clothes back now?" I did feel kind of stupid standing in the middle of Sasuke's hall with just a towel on.

"No," he said simply.

Wait, what? If they were already in the wash, I understand that…

"Why not?" I asked quizzically.

He smirked. "Because you look much better without them."

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**Oh. Em. Gee. Sasuke's hormones** **really _do_ want** **to rape Sakura! Ahahaha! I guess I'll leave you to think of what happens next. No _really _wrong thoughts though! This story was meant to be rated T, not M.**

**And about the olde English part, I was watching Dane Cook. xD Watch him on Youtube to get it. 'Dane Cook Vicious Circle'**

**-Lynn/SiLLyKiTTyx3**


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